The Sword Room

In 2004 I went to a workshop as part of my continuing education requirement as a counselor. The man who led the training was a researcher who studied the factors in counseling which predict positive outcomes. He boiled down the top four factors in descending order of influence:

Extra-Therapeutic and Client Factors (40%): These are the strengths,supports, and past successes of the client. These factors exist independently of the counseling process,and the counselor’s job is to help the client see and utilize them. People who come for counseling have solved problems in the past, but for some reason get stuck in a place where they are unable to bring their resources to bear on the present situation.

The Therapy Relationship (30%): Even though the percentage is lower for this one it is the factor counselors have the most control over. People who make progress in counseling are those who feel safe to talk about their thoughts and feelings without being judged, advised, or shamed by the counselor. If you think about it this principle holds true in most relationships. If you want to have a positive impact in the life of another person you must make a healthy connection with them, whether you are a parent, school-teacher, coach, or friend. In the context of a good relationship you can work with others to see their strengths, supports, and successes and help them brainstorm problem-solving strategies.

Therapeutic Technique (15%): Research shows that cognitive vs. behavioral vs. psychoanalytic vs. family systems is beside the point. Nor is the level of education or license of critical importance. Diagnosis doesn’t amount to much in most cases either. It is true that good counselors are skilled, but the most important skills are personal and relational rather than technical and professional: listening and empathizing rather than evaluating and pathologizing.

Expectancy, Hope, and Placebo (15%): We all know this. If a person sees light at the end of the tunnel they will move toward it. Foster hope in a friend and he will become intrinsically motivated to action.

I have framed my thinking as a counselor to see the personal connection or relationship as the hub of a wheel and the other factors as spokes connecting to the outer rim where the rubber meets the road. Build that positive connection and the person being helped will become hopeful, will see their strengths, and your skills will be more effective in that context. So the bottom line is that it’s all about connection.

My counseling practice was revolutionized when I applied this approach. I made it my primary mission to connect with my clients, to build the kind of relationship where they knew I was glad to see them and positive about the future of our work together. My primary goal in the first session was to put them at ease and make sure they would want to come back again. Listen with a low level of judgment and try to hear their stories as though I had crawled into their skin. Allow them to talk about whatever was on their mind, without coaxing or cajoling them to talk about anything until they were ready and willing.

Here is what happened. People went away and by the time they returned for the first real therapy session they had already started working on their problems and making progress. I kid you not. They were hopeful and hence more motivated. I had moms of recalcitrant teenage boys tell me it was the first time their kid had reminded them of the counseling appointment. When I pause and reflect on those persons in my youth who  impacted me, I realize it was those who had made the same kind of connection with me.

Now as many of you know I am a thick-skulled Norwegian, and sometimes it takes awhile for things to sink in. I have struggled over the past two years after leaving “the ministry” to re-discover a sense of mission in my life. Recently I read a book on missional spirituality; and while I did have a few criticisms of the book, the Lord used that reading to help me connect a few dots.

First, God is a relational being existing as three distinct co-equal persons with distinct roles and functions. God created humans in His image, and it was not too long after the creation of the man that he placed the woman by his side and instituted the family. From that time onward people have existed as families, extended families, clans, tribes, etc. Sin has marred our relationships, so that they do not function ideally; and yet no man can live as an island in this world and be happy. Show me a depressed person and I will start looking for broken relationships behind the sadness. Just look at all the artificial cyber-connection people seek through the social networking sites.

One thing Jesus did was connect with ordinary people. He was the sinless holy and righteous Son of God, but sinners did not mind being around Him. The religious leaders hated Him because rather than build healthy connections with others they repelled people with their judgmental arrogance. From all I have just written I can boil it down to this axiom: The first step in having a positive influence on others is making a good connection. You can’t help another person if you are not connected to them.

Does this mean I have changed my theology? Not really. I still believe God is completely sovereign over the salvation of sinners. I still believe what Jesus said in John 6:44: No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him. But God uses secondary means in the drawing process, such as prayer and daily circumstances. He also uses relationships. So now I am seeing my daily mission in terms of connecting with people in positive ways to whatever degree possible. Here are a few examples:

Talking to a young man who was raised in a physically and sexually abusive home. Hearing his story and understanding that he wonders why it had to be him and not someone else. Delving from this into questions about the meaning of existence, how we know what we know, and what happens after death. I was able to share with this young man that his metaphysical inquiries point to the fact that he is a unique bearer of the divine image and that as a fellow image bearer I will be delighted to pray for him and talk to him again about such questions over a soda. He remarked that he had never met a pastor before who did not meet his questions with a canned “gospel” presentation, tract, or trite platitude. Or an exhortation to suck it up and deal with it.

Breakfast with a man who says he feels inexplicably angry and impulsively punches walls. Says he feels a rage that is only relieved by destruction of physical objects. I remember feeling like this as a young man. This guy was curious how one can know for sure Jesus is real–what is the evidence. I was able to share my own story about how I wrestled with this same question right after the death of my friend Lance. I further shared my belief that the Jesus of the Bible is alive and that we must seek Him with a no-holds-barred openness to however He chooses to disclose Himself to us.

Today at the supermarket. A lady who is usually a checker is stocking shelves, and I ask if she likes that better. She says no, she does not like it, but the economy is tight and downsizing has forced those with lower seniority to be bumped to less than full time doing the more menial work. All I can do is listen and empathize.

Do I still believe people are lost sinners who will spend eternity in a really bad place if they do not know Christ? Yes. But I am starting to see myself as an agent of blessing in making simple connections where God will use me in the drawing process according to His good pleasure. Again: The first step in having a positive influence on others is making a good connection. You can’t help another person if you are not connected to them. 

People are starved for connection, and they will gobble up all of this you can give them. I pray God will open doors and hearts. I pray His Spirit will convict unbelievers of sin, righteousness, and judgment. I pray that there will be opportunities to share the gospel. I believe no less than ever that people are lost and headed for a very bad eternity without Jesus Christ. But I also know that to hit today’s secularized sinner with a quick Romans Road or Four Spiritual Laws presentation will likely repel him before I even get a hearing. Taking him to your run-of-the-mill church service will not be any more helpful. It’s about connection first and foremost. God is sovereign and all I can do is be sensitive to Him.

Does this sound like friendship with an ulterior motive? Good. It is. If you knew someone was asleep in a burning house the most loving thing you could do is warn him. What could be more loving than to build a positive connection with an unbeliever with a view to his salvation? What if he rejects Christ? Then what? Stay connected and keep praying. Let your love for the sinner be unconditional.

Anyway, my mission is a mission of connection, and I hope for you readers who love the Lord it will be too. Every connection is a divine appointment. Where it leads is up to God; I will do what I can do. I can also tell you I am chomping at the bit to preach and teach the Word. But one thing I dread is getting a group of believers together and organizing it into a “church” because somehow that’s where things always seem to turn south. Still waiting on wisdom from the Lord on that one.

If you listen much to the so-called movers and shakers of today’s pop evangelicalism you will hear the terms missional and incarnational batted about. To be very honest I am naturally suspicious any time a new and improved approach to the faith once delivered comes on the scene. When I first started out as a pastor in 1977 the church growth movement was the rave and everyone was talking about the homogeneous unit principle. A few years later the seeker sensitive model turned the tables and you were supposed to scratch the goats where they itched to get them in the church doors. Well-produced music, drama, puppet shows, and fifteen minute sermonettes light on scripture and heavy on quips, quotes, and anecdotes about little lost puppies became standard fare. Then a few years later a few prominent evangelical leaders were surprised by the Spirit and the signs and wonders movement was born. Everyone was speaking in tongues, praying for healings, and receiving words of knowledge from on high. That fizzled out and then the Promise Keepers fad came into vogue in an attempt to bring men into line by, basically, getting them to be all touchy-feely and relate to one another like women relate to one another–by sharing their deepest feeeeeelings. Oh yeah, the religious right. It has been around all along and has simply morphed into different incarnations, from the Moral Majority to the Tea Party Movement.

I have watched Christians over the years jumping from one wave to another and being carried about by the latest move of God. The idea seems to be: check to see which way the wind is blowing to figure out how to be a Christian in this world. So my question is, what is any different about the current missional-incarnational emphasis? As I look back at all the flash-in-the-pan movements that have fizzled out over the years, leaving a negligible positive impact on true Christianity, I have to wonder if this new kid on the block will create any fire to go with all the smoke.

Defining precisely what it means to be missional can be slippery business. From what I have read it means that believers need to see themselves as having been sent into the world with a mission even as Jesus was sent by the Father. As our culture slides into pagan secularism and relativism, believers are beginning to feel like missionaries in a foreign country. They can become provincial, circle the wagons, hunker down within the church walls, and pine for the good old days.

Or they can be incarnational. Even as Jesus left His safe abode of eternal fellowship within the Triune Godhead to be born, to live, and to die in this world, believers must live and move in the world and rub elbows with people if they are going to have a missional impact. They must be as Christ in a lost world.

Now so far I have no problem with any of this. As a matter of fact there is nothing new about any of it up to this point. It is basically a statement of the Great Commission.

But many of the cheerleaders of the missional-incarnational movement do not stop here. We must, they insist, live and communicate in ways that are meaningful and relevant. After all, did not Paul say he became all things to all men in order to save some? We too must walk in love among the hurting and empathicly listen as they tell their stories. Then we must non-judgmentally tell them the story of Christ in a way that resonates with their stories. We must minister, as Henri Nouwen said, as wounded healers. God is love, and He calls us to love Him first and foremost, and our neighbors as ourselves.

But while I would agree that we must communicate the gospel in a way understandable to non-Christians, the whole idea of being relevant misses the mark in my opinion. Jesus did not become flesh, live a righteous life, heal the sick, cast out demons, raise the dead, die on the cross and rise the third day to be relevant. Nor did he come into the world merely to heal hurting victims, but rather to save guilty sinners. Being relevant had nothing to do with it. Jesus and the apostles did not go out and survey communities to determine their felt needs, not did they travel with cracker-jack worship teams. Far from being hip and relevant, they were viewed as a bunch of slack-jawed fanatics from Galilee.

Herein lies the true weakness of much so-called missional-incarnational ministry: it is pragmatic and theologically anemic. God has not changed and people have not changed. God is love, but He is also Holy. He is still of purer eyes than to look on sin. People are still lost. This means more than that they are hurting victims. They are guilty and rebellious haters of God by nature. They are totally depraved and without one ounce of righteousness whereby they might commend themselves to God. They are dead in sin and spiritually bankrupt, powerless to remedy their situation or even want to.

The gospel has not changed. Jesus is still the only way to God and salvation. Faith alone in His finished work is the only basis of our hope. When communicated accurately the gospel is still the power of God for salvation. Any missional emphasis that does not put the proclamation of the gospel front and center is an aberration. That goes for those who want to glean insight into spiritual disciplines from eastern religions or toy with ideas like universalism.

My prediction is that people will be talking about being missional and incarnational for a few years, and then you will be able to by books on the subject at yard sales for a quarter, along with the works of LaHaye and Jenkins. As to what the next cool trend will be, I haven’t a clue. What In do know is that the world hates Jesus, and if you truly love Him the world will hate you too. The gospel will never be cool, but it will always be the power of God for salvation.

God will always have His people on earth faithfully serving Him, proclaiming the good news of Jesus. May we be among that number. The best insurance against pragmatic error in ministry is sound theology. Is it any wonder that many of the so-called leaders of the evangelical world downplay doctrine in favor of Bible-light? The evangelical church, shot through with man-centered Semi-Pelagian theology, does not really believe in the sovereignty of God or inability of man. As a result of this theological deficiency Christians are ever looking for this or that method, technique, gimmick, etc., to woo sinners to the Savior. Such an approach might result in hands raised, aisles walked, and decision cards filled out. But when the dust settles what we are after are genuine conversions rooted in the sovereign regenerating work of the Holy Spirit.

When will we ever get it through our heads that we have absolutely no control over this and that all we can do is faithfully and accurately proclaim the ancient gospel in a language intelligible to modern man? No frills, no eastern mysticism smuggled in, no marketing ploys, no pop psychobabble.

Paul tells us in Romans 1:16 that he is not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes. For Paul the power was in the message, whereas in contemporary Christian culture it seems to reside in the messenger. Maybe this is why we place much emphasis on outward packaging. The messenger has to look and sound just right; he must be articulate and funny; he must be “relevant” and politically correct; the decor of the preaching environment must lend itself to comfort and security; and the message is most effective when primed by a half hour of music designed to soften the emotions.

How different this sounds from the approach of Paul, the man whose letters were heavy but whose appearance was weak. Paul was not discouraged by this. Because he knew the power is in the message itself his job was simple: And I, brethren, when I came to you, did not come with excellence of speech or of wisdom declaring to you the testimony of God. For I determined not to know anything among you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified (1 Cor.2:1-2). Read the book of Acts and you will see Paul presenting a very simple message and never deviating from it. The results were powerful.

His ministry in Thessalonica is a case in point (Acts 17:1-9). Paul spent three weeks there preaching in the synagogue to a hostile Jewish audience. When he departed that city he left behind a substantial group of gentile converts. A mere six months later he wrote to the church in that city, thanking God for their faith, hope, love (1 Thess. 1:3). He mentions how the gospel had impacted their lives powerfully and how they received it with joy in the face of affliction (vv. 5-6), and how they had become such an example to the believers in the surrounding region that they themselves had no need to report to others about the fruit of the gospel in Thessalonica (vv. 8-9).

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Man is still a spiritually dead sinner in need of regenerating grace. And the simple message of Jesus is still the best news available in a world of bad news. You might think you are weak, unimpressive, and ineffective. Maybe you look at the glitz and glamor of the mega churches and realize you could never compete with such a production-quality shtick. Neither could have Paul or any other herald of the true gospel–nor would they want to. In whatever way possible for you, stick to the simple message of the gospel. To many it will stink to high heaven, while to those chosen from the foundation of the world God is pleased to draw to Himself it will be a sweet fragrance. It will always be foolishness to those who are perishing, like that smoldering stub Bill Maher; but to those who are being saved it will be the power of God (1 Cor. 1:18).

The power is in the message–not the messenger. Believe it. Believe God can and will use you. Stick with the simple message of Jesus and let God do what He will. One of the reasons today’s evangelism is so shallow and why we see so few true conversions is that we have replaced the true gospel with feeble substitutes that tickle the ears and tantalize the flesh of depraved sinners. We have, as it were, masked the smell of a rank fart with cheap air freshener

Recently I was talking to a mom whose adult son was raised in the church but has since rejected the faith he once professed. His mom commented that she would really like to see him get back into church, as though that would remedy the problem. I understand what she meant: if he could get around Christian people his own age maybe that would influence him to repent and get right with God. As a mom she has little impact on his thinking–after all, what twenty-something child listens to his mom. All her attempts to talk to him about spiritual matters come across as nagging and preachy.

The social element is an important one for all of us, but for young people especially. But it is not the core issue. The real problem with any sinner is a matter of the heart. The flesh is in rebellion against God and hates him and His Word. The flesh is more than willing to sit through church. We see God in the Old Testament rebuking the priests and false prophets over and again. I just read a passage in Jeremiah where God sent him in to speak judgment against his people while they were assembled for worship in the temple. In the New Testament we read accounts where Jesus did battle with demons right in a synagogue service in Galilee. The world, flesh, and devil are quite content to don their Sunday-go-to-meeting clothes and attend church.

Corporate worship has its place: I’m not bashing it. But public church services are supposed to be a place of celebration for those whose hearts have already been regenerated by the Spirit of God. What that mom’s son or any other sinner needs is to be made spiritually alive on the inside. What good does it do for a person who is still dead in sin to sit through a church service, unless it leads to a change of heart?

This morning I was reading in Jeremiah 31 about God’s promise to write His laws on the hearts of His people and forgive their lawless deeds. This same promise is repeated in Hebrews 8:8-12. The means God uses to bring about the life-changing new birth is the simple gospel message spoken through normal believers like you and me. As we interact with others throughout the day we are rubbing elbows with human beings created in the image of God. That image has been marred by sin to where people in their natural state are alive physically but dead spiritually. If they remain in this state of spiritual death throughout life and die physically in that condition they will spend eternity separated from God in a place so horrible that Jesus said it would be better to hack off an arm or gouge out an eye than go there. It is a place of weeping and gnashing of teeth, where the worm dies not and the fire is not quenched. We must not lose sight of this sobering truth.

The gospel will never be cool, but it will always be the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes (Romans 1:16). The message of the cross will always be foolishness to those who are perishing; but it will always be the power of God to those who are being saved (1 Corinthians 1:18). You need not act like an idiot or a jerk to offend people–and I pray you never do. But even when you share that simple message with someone you have a friendship or family relationship with you must not be surprised when they turn up their noses at it. This is what the flesh always does because that is all it can do.

The assurance we have as believers in the sovereign God of Scripture is that He has purposed to save some. If we know that He saves sinners we need not resort to gimmicks or hard-sell techniques. Our power of persuasion is worthless unless it is accompanied by the simple gospel message of faith alone in Christ alone–the Christ of the Bible, God in the flesh, crucified and resurrected. It was this message God used to transform your heart and life, and it is what he will use when you trust Him and stick to His plan. That is our mission as the church scattered in the world.

I pray for that mom and her son. I know well the pain of friends and relatives headed for a Christless eternity. But God is in control and He saves sinners. He draws them, regenerates them, gives them faith, justifies, sanctifies, and glorifies them. We have no control over any-one’s salvation. Therefore let us be diligent to faithfully present the good news lovingly to those in our circle of relationships as the Lord gives opportunity. He will save sinners according to His will, and we will be his instruments of life.

Often people ask me why we should pray for the lost or witness if God is completely sovereign over the choices of His creatures. My response is: That being the case, why not pray and witness? You can’t lose.

A few years ago when I was having lunch in a local restaurant I was approached by a young lady with a husband and two kids in tow. She said, “Do you remember me?” Quite honestly I had no idea who she was. She told me her name and explained she was the daughter of a man I had been called upon to visit twenty years earlier as a young pastor. The man was recovering from a heart attack, and a family friend asked me to go try and talk to him about his soul. The man was patronizing and went through the motions of trusting Christ. He never exhibited any fruit of conversion and died several years later. Standing by was a chubby little ten year old girl–his youngest daughter.

She was saved that day as I talked with her dad. She prayed along with us. She never attended the church where I was pastor because it was several miles from there home; but she did go to Sunday school closer to home and later married the son of missionaries. All these years later she was introducing herself along with her family. She thanked me for coming to the home that day so many years earlier to share the gospel with her dad–and her.

Just yesterday at church the pastor opened up the service for a sharing of thanksgiving for the Lord’s blessings. One of the elders turned and pointed me out. He said he was thankful for the day clear back in 1978 when a friend had brought him out to see me at the church I was pastoring. He was home from college on Christmas break and struggling with some personal issues. I remember sharing my testimony and the gospel with him. He went back to college shortly thereafter, got saved, and married a girl in a local church near the campus. Many years later they moved back to our little town, and he was instrumental in leading his parents and older brother to Christ. For nearly three decades I was unaware of all this until I left my last pastorate and started attending a nearby little rural church where this guy and his family attend. Then he told me the story. I was really blown away by it

You just never know what will happen when you share the gospel with someone. There is so much power in the story of Christ and what He did. Remember this today as you interact with people. The word of the cross is to those who are perishing foolishness, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. It’s not about how smart or clever we think we are. It’s about what God can do through us with that simple message.

Someone asked me about this, and I want to say a few words about it. This is an age-old controversy that I remember from my days living in dorm at Bible College. First you had those who held to what I call Decisional Conversion. This was the belief that all you must do to be saved is mouth a sinners prayer, walk the aisle in a church, raise your hand, fill out a card, or ask Jesus into your heart. For many who held to this view there was a second apex experience, where once you had “accepted Christ as Savior” you were encouraged to “make Jesus Lord of your life.” Over against this view were those whose slogan was, If Jesus is not Lord of all He is not Lord at all. These folks lamented the absence of repentance from evangelism, and said that repentance and submission to Christ’s Lordship are conditions of salvation. A few years later John MacArthur popularized this second view in his book, The Gospel According To Jesus.

Here is my response: both of these views are flawed in that (1) they present a false dichotomy, and (2) they are more consistent with Arminianism than a solid understanding of biblical Reformed theology. Allow me to present what I believe to be the mediating and correct position. Don’t stop reading before you reach the end of this entry, because I want you to get the full story here.

First, God saves sinners. The dead unregenerate sinner must be quickened before he can respond to the gospel. Faith does not precede the new birth but follows it, inasmuch as one must be alive to believe. If a dead unregenerate sinner were able to believe and repent before being born again, then his faith and repentance would be a work of his flesh. He would in a sense be cutting a deal with God in exchange for eternal life, and thus would have a ground for boasting. Regeneration is monergistic–that is, it is the work of a single agent: God.

Now specifically, when God makes a sinner alive he also imparts the free gift of saving faith, whereby the sinner trusts the person and work of Christ, resulting in Justification (Rom. 5:1; Eph. 2:8-9). But what about repentance? Consider for a moment the following facts relative to this question. John’s Gospel was specifically written to tell us how to be saved (20:31). Words describing faith and believing are used about a hundred times in this biblical document as a condition of salvation. And repentance? Neither the noun nor verb forms of this word are used a single time in the gospel of John! This is a glaring omission if repentance is a necessary component in conversion. Go next to Romans and observe that repentance is not a central theme at all in Paul’s exposition of the gospel. Over and over he tells us that sinners are pronounced righteous by faith. Nowhere does he tell us we are justified by repentance. It seems to me that Peter also got it wrong with the Philippian jailer: He should have said, believe on the Lord Jesus Christ–and repent–and you shall be saved. I suppose it could be argued that Lordship and repentance are implied in all the above references, or that repentance is a component of faith: but inference is a slender reed upon which to build one’s doctrinal position.

Now here is how I sort this all out. As a biblical Calvinist I see salvation as a process beginning with the decree of God in eternity and culminating in glorification. I do believe Lordship and repentance are necessary for salvation because I believe in the perseverance of the saints. Truly elect sinners always make proof of their election and persevere to the end in their faith. They work out their salvation with fear and trembling because it is God at work in them both to will and do for His good pleasure (Phil. 2:12-13).

But here’s the rub. While repentance and Lordship are necessary parts of the process of salvation, they are not necessarily spelled out as conditions of initial conversion. Let me explain. Would you tell a person you were witnessing to that to be saved he must not only believe on Christ but also persevere in the faith to the end of his life? Of course not! You would follow the biblical pattern and tell the sinner to believe or trust completely in Jesus Christ. Once they were genuinely born again they would go on to walk with him throughout the days of their life. They would also exercise repentance and submit to the Lordship of Christ.Not just once, but repeatedly. Not as a condition of conversion, but as an evidence of it.

As a matter of fact, rightly understood, repentance does occur in conversion, because repentance means a change of mind. Sinners must change their minds about sin, God, truth, and salvation in order to believe the gospel. A person who truly believes in Jesus knows He is Lord, whether or not he consciously submits every area of his life to Christ at the moment of faith. And, of course, the whole idea of making Christ Lord of one’s life is nonsense. He is Lord, whether you recognize Him as such or not.

Decisional conversion is just plain stupid if you ask me. But the classic doctrine of Lordship Conversion is an overreaction that compounds rather than corrects the problem. Preach the biblical gospel of faith alone in Christ alone. God will be pleased to save whom He will, and there will always be false professors. You cannot stiff-arm sinners into the kingdom of God with the hard sell of classic Lordship Conversion. Do your part, and stop trying to play the part of the Holy Spirit.