The Sword Room

In 2004 I went to a workshop as part of my continuing education requirement as a counselor. The man who led the training was a researcher who studied the factors in counseling which predict positive outcomes. He boiled down the top four factors in descending order of influence:

Extra-Therapeutic and Client Factors (40%): These are the strengths,supports, and past successes of the client. These factors exist independently of the counseling process,and the counselor’s job is to help the client see and utilize them. People who come for counseling have solved problems in the past, but for some reason get stuck in a place where they are unable to bring their resources to bear on the present situation.

The Therapy Relationship (30%): Even though the percentage is lower for this one it is the factor counselors have the most control over. People who make progress in counseling are those who feel safe to talk about their thoughts and feelings without being judged, advised, or shamed by the counselor. If you think about it this principle holds true in most relationships. If you want to have a positive impact in the life of another person you must make a healthy connection with them, whether you are a parent, school-teacher, coach, or friend. In the context of a good relationship you can work with others to see their strengths, supports, and successes and help them brainstorm problem-solving strategies.

Therapeutic Technique (15%): Research shows that cognitive vs. behavioral vs. psychoanalytic vs. family systems is beside the point. Nor is the level of education or license of critical importance. Diagnosis doesn’t amount to much in most cases either. It is true that good counselors are skilled, but the most important skills are personal and relational rather than technical and professional: listening and empathizing rather than evaluating and pathologizing.

Expectancy, Hope, and Placebo (15%): We all know this. If a person sees light at the end of the tunnel they will move toward it. Foster hope in a friend and he will become intrinsically motivated to action.

I have framed my thinking as a counselor to see the personal connection or relationship as the hub of a wheel and the other factors as spokes connecting to the outer rim where the rubber meets the road. Build that positive connection and the person being helped will become hopeful, will see their strengths, and your skills will be more effective in that context. So the bottom line is that it’s all about connection.

My counseling practice was revolutionized when I applied this approach. I made it my primary mission to connect with my clients, to build the kind of relationship where they knew I was glad to see them and positive about the future of our work together. My primary goal in the first session was to put them at ease and make sure they would want to come back again. Listen with a low level of judgment and try to hear their stories as though I had crawled into their skin. Allow them to talk about whatever was on their mind, without coaxing or cajoling them to talk about anything until they were ready and willing.

Here is what happened. People went away and by the time they returned for the first real therapy session they had already started working on their problems and making progress. I kid you not. They were hopeful and hence more motivated. I had moms of recalcitrant teenage boys tell me it was the first time their kid had reminded them of the counseling appointment. When I pause and reflect on those persons in my youth who  impacted me, I realize it was those who had made the same kind of connection with me.

Now as many of you know I am a thick-skulled Norwegian, and sometimes it takes awhile for things to sink in. I have struggled over the past two years after leaving “the ministry” to re-discover a sense of mission in my life. Recently I read a book on missional spirituality; and while I did have a few criticisms of the book, the Lord used that reading to help me connect a few dots.

First, God is a relational being existing as three distinct co-equal persons with distinct roles and functions. God created humans in His image, and it was not too long after the creation of the man that he placed the woman by his side and instituted the family. From that time onward people have existed as families, extended families, clans, tribes, etc. Sin has marred our relationships, so that they do not function ideally; and yet no man can live as an island in this world and be happy. Show me a depressed person and I will start looking for broken relationships behind the sadness. Just look at all the artificial cyber-connection people seek through the social networking sites.

One thing Jesus did was connect with ordinary people. He was the sinless holy and righteous Son of God, but sinners did not mind being around Him. The religious leaders hated Him because rather than build healthy connections with others they repelled people with their judgmental arrogance. From all I have just written I can boil it down to this axiom: The first step in having a positive influence on others is making a good connection. You can’t help another person if you are not connected to them.

Does this mean I have changed my theology? Not really. I still believe God is completely sovereign over the salvation of sinners. I still believe what Jesus said in John 6:44: No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him. But God uses secondary means in the drawing process, such as prayer and daily circumstances. He also uses relationships. So now I am seeing my daily mission in terms of connecting with people in positive ways to whatever degree possible. Here are a few examples:

Talking to a young man who was raised in a physically and sexually abusive home. Hearing his story and understanding that he wonders why it had to be him and not someone else. Delving from this into questions about the meaning of existence, how we know what we know, and what happens after death. I was able to share with this young man that his metaphysical inquiries point to the fact that he is a unique bearer of the divine image and that as a fellow image bearer I will be delighted to pray for him and talk to him again about such questions over a soda. He remarked that he had never met a pastor before who did not meet his questions with a canned “gospel” presentation, tract, or trite platitude. Or an exhortation to suck it up and deal with it.

Breakfast with a man who says he feels inexplicably angry and impulsively punches walls. Says he feels a rage that is only relieved by destruction of physical objects. I remember feeling like this as a young man. This guy was curious how one can know for sure Jesus is real–what is the evidence. I was able to share my own story about how I wrestled with this same question right after the death of my friend Lance. I further shared my belief that the Jesus of the Bible is alive and that we must seek Him with a no-holds-barred openness to however He chooses to disclose Himself to us.

Today at the supermarket. A lady who is usually a checker is stocking shelves, and I ask if she likes that better. She says no, she does not like it, but the economy is tight and downsizing has forced those with lower seniority to be bumped to less than full time doing the more menial work. All I can do is listen and empathize.

Do I still believe people are lost sinners who will spend eternity in a really bad place if they do not know Christ? Yes. But I am starting to see myself as an agent of blessing in making simple connections where God will use me in the drawing process according to His good pleasure. Again: The first step in having a positive influence on others is making a good connection. You can’t help another person if you are not connected to them. 

People are starved for connection, and they will gobble up all of this you can give them. I pray God will open doors and hearts. I pray His Spirit will convict unbelievers of sin, righteousness, and judgment. I pray that there will be opportunities to share the gospel. I believe no less than ever that people are lost and headed for a very bad eternity without Jesus Christ. But I also know that to hit today’s secularized sinner with a quick Romans Road or Four Spiritual Laws presentation will likely repel him before I even get a hearing. Taking him to your run-of-the-mill church service will not be any more helpful. It’s about connection first and foremost. God is sovereign and all I can do is be sensitive to Him.

Does this sound like friendship with an ulterior motive? Good. It is. If you knew someone was asleep in a burning house the most loving thing you could do is warn him. What could be more loving than to build a positive connection with an unbeliever with a view to his salvation? What if he rejects Christ? Then what? Stay connected and keep praying. Let your love for the sinner be unconditional.

Anyway, my mission is a mission of connection, and I hope for you readers who love the Lord it will be too. Every connection is a divine appointment. Where it leads is up to God; I will do what I can do. I can also tell you I am chomping at the bit to preach and teach the Word. But one thing I dread is getting a group of believers together and organizing it into a “church” because somehow that’s where things always seem to turn south. Still waiting on wisdom from the Lord on that one.

In the opening paragraph of Luke 20 (vv. 1-8) is the story about the Jewish leaders confronting Jesus as He taught in the temple. They asked Him where He received His authority or who had given it to Him. He replied with a question to them about John the Baptist–was his authority from heaven or from men. Caught in a dilemma the Jewish leaders refused to answer, and so did Jesus.

What the Jewish leaders were really asking is: Who gave you permission to come into our temple and teach the people? Jesus had not come up through any of the rabbinic schools, and He held no position of rank among the religious status quo.

On the surface their question did not seem unreasonable. In your standard church today the pulpit is not open to any Tom, Dick, or Harry who walks through the door. Normally churches select teachers based on giftedness, experience, and education. Some self-styled prophet who walks through the door is not automatically given the right to disrupt the service. The first Amendment does not give you the right to shout fire! in a crowded theatre or set up a soap box in the middle of a grocery store.

But the Jews should have recognized Jesus’ authority based on the confirming miracles He performed and by the content of His message. Jesus had an authority that was inherent in His person. People were blown away by the authority with which He spoke, in contrast to the dry teaching of the scribes in the synagogues.

We do not have authority in and of ourselves. As believers we have been entrusted with the gospel and the truth of God deposited in the scriptures. When we present the gospel clearly and accurately God’s word carries its own authority. It is my belief that if you are gifted in handling and presenting the word of God and you are walking with the Lord and trusting Him, then God has a place for you to minister. If you plug into a Bible-believing church and seek prayerfully to be used, God will open doors. To be very honest the churches today are seeing a famine for God’s word on par with the days of the prophet Amos. All manner of watered down culturally hip politically correct pabulum is being barfed forth from pulpits across North America, and many churches are becoming gargantuan goatfolds with a few sick sheep mixed in. Goats love garbage and if you feed them they will come. Give them shallow narcissistic albeit well-produced music, skits, puppet shows, and so-called Christian comedians. Anything but the clear teaching of the Bible–in context, properly exegeted.

I will give it to you straight up. One reason I left the pastorate is that it was a hindrance to my ministry. This blog and my men’s group (Fight Club) afford a golden opportunity to present truth. Who gave me permission to do this? Where does my authority come from? Ultimately the Word of God carries its own authority. My job is to handle it accurately and present it clearly. Beyond this I claim no spiritual authority except that which I exercise as I serve my family as a husband and father.

I just finished a book titled Missional Spirituality: Embodying God’s Love from the Inside Out by Roger Helland and Leonard Hjalmarson (IVP Books, 2011). Here I will offer my thoughts on this book in four parts: (1) how I came to read it; (2) the book’s basic theme and how the authors develop it; (3) what I found helpful about it; (4) a critique of a few elements in the book.

When I was saved in 1971 as a long-haired drug and alcohol addict, the good folks in mainstream evangelical churches were, quite frankly, fearful of me and those of my ilk. Times they were a changing, and many establishment Christians felt like the culture was getting away from them–moving faster han they could hang onto it. Some churches chose to circle the wagons and cling to their sacred cows, chanting the seven-last-words-mantra of the church of those times: We’ve never done it that way before. The attitude seemed to be that if the churches were to open the doors to us newbies we would sell drugs to their kids after the service. If these hippies were really saved they would cut their hair, shave their beards, wear decent clothes, leave their guitars at home, and sing these old hymns with us. If it was good enough for Paul… (Thank God for the Chuck Smiths of that era!)

Fast forward. After nearly four decades spent in a combination of Bible college, seminary, grad school, and pastoral ministry, I woke up one day and discovered I had become very much like those seasoned believers of yesteryear. Dour, crusty, dispassionate. I felt basically irrelevant. My church had no mission outside itself because I had lost my vision and was burning out. After awhile the church in which I served felt like death. Even if I were to lead someone to Christ–something I had not done in years–would I really want to bring them to one of our Sunday morning services? When your church gets to that point people turn their focus inward and feed upon themselves like famished barracuda. After much prayer and struggle on our part God mercifully provided a way of escape for Connie and me. For the last twelve years of ministry I had been working bi-vocationally as a licensed mental health therapist, and when I quit the church I became a full-time counselor.

For two years I struggled after leaving “full-time” ministry. We church-hopped and felt like we just didn’t know where we fit. Many of the congregations we visited were ingrown and seemed to have little concern for or impact on the surrounding community, while others tried to draw people in by being hip and un-church-like.  During this same period I started this website and fired up my weekly men’s group called Fight Club. And then just a week ago I heard about the new book presently under review. Seeing how I had not cracked a book in over a year I decided to give this one a read, especially since one of the authors was an old college buddy of mine.

No sooner had I finished the introduction to the book when I had an enlightening talk with a friend who is not a believer. I asked him if he ever feels uncomfortable with how quickly the world is changing. To my surprise I found that he feels pretty much the same way I do. Technology is ever-changing, the economy is going global, urbanization and transience are the norm, and we are becoming a more diverse and secularized culture. Because I am not a “pastor” any more I was able to share a little with him in a very relaxed way about how my faith stabilizes and grounds me amid the chaos that is my life these days. We have been getting together for several years on Sunday afternoons to jam on guitars and sing “non-Christian” songs, and I can tell you for a fact that he would shine me off pronto if I ever hit him with a canned approach like the Romans Road or Four Spiritual Laws.

Now about the book. In Missional Spirituality Helland and Hjalmarson are well aware that stories like my own are becoming more commonplace among Christians struggling to be salt and light in this critical cultural juncture they call a liminality–”a threshold, an in-between place of ambiguity and uncertainty, disorientation and transition” (p. 14). And they offer some real food for the beleaguered soul in terms of how we can live out our spirituality missionally.

The authors define missional spirituality as an attentive and active engagement of embodied love for God and neighbor expressed from the inside out. The challenges to living out a missional spirituality are defined as disenchantment, excarnation, abstraction, consumerism, entitlement, extraction, and mustant pietism. For a clear and comprehensive discussion of each of these items you will of course want to read the book. The shorter summary is that believers are often too unimaginative, cerebral, theoretical, materialistic, and spoiled by affluence. And they often seem to separate the spiritual from the secular in an unhelpful kind of  neo-gnostic dualism. A missional spirituality sees God as active everywhere all the time and connects theology with practice born of love for God and neighbor.

Helland and Hjalmarson build their concept of missional spirituality on four theological pillars: the trinity, the incarnation, the priesthood of the believer, and the great commandment (Mark 12:28-31), which they call the Jesus Creed/Shema. The tri-unity of God points us to the fact that He is a relational being by nature, as are we also since we bear His image. He exists in a love relationship and is eternally desiring to express this love from the inside out with His fallen creatures. The Lord’s incarnation and dwelling with us serve as an example of how we must be willing to get our hands dirty in the work of reaching out to others by living among them where they are. Our priesthood as believers speaks to the royal authority that is ours to move out into the world as his representatives. The Jesus Creed connects our wholehearted love for God with the natural outgrowth of love for our neighbor. Of course there is technically nothing new about any of this; it’s just that many of us have either lost sight of our sense of mission, or we do not know how to put feet to it in these changing times.

It is hard to grasp the meaning of missional spirituality without concrete examples, and the authors provide several examples in the form of a brief historical overview of missional spirituality in action. They seem to trace a thread of missional spirituality from the days of the apostles through the early Pietist movement and Phillip Jacob Spener, then through the Moravian movement and ministry of Count Nicolaus von Zinzendorf, next through Methodism and other Wesleyan offshoots, and finally through the ministry of A.B. Simpson and the Christian and Missionary Alliance. For good measure they also mention the various forms of modern Pentecostal and charismatic Christianity. What these historic movements all have in common is an emphasis on inner spiritual formation that works its way out in loving service to believer and unbeliever alike. They all share some claim to a second work of the Spirit after conversion and link it to the references to the baptism of the Holy Spirit in the book of Acts. It was not until I read this historical summary that I understood why, out of all the important biblical doctrines they could have mentioned, the authors chose the four aforementioned theological pillars as the foundation of a missionalspirituality. I was surprised they did not include the Jesus Movement of the late 1960′s and early 1970′s in their historical overview. (Maybe they did and I missed it.)

Once I understood where the authors were coming from historically and theologically I was not surprised to see them encouraging what many would call a more mystical approach to spiritual formation–emphasis on prayer, spiritual disciplines, and listening for the voice of God in our daily experience. Rather than go into any more detail I will suffice it to say that if you are familiar with the works of Richard Foster, Dallas Willard, and Henri Nouwen you will taste the flavor of the book in terms of spiritual formation and devotional piety. When I got to this point in the book I thought perhaps it could have just as easily been titled: Mystical Spirituality.

Nor am I being strictly critical here. God sovereignly brought this book to my attention at a time when I needed a spiritual jump start. I am thankful for the encouragement it has afforded me, and how it challenged me as one who stands within the Reformed Baptist tradition to view things from a different perspective. I came away from my reading of Missional Spirituality motivated afresh to see my daily encounters with others as opportunities to be a channel of God’s love. Having said that let me finish with a few quick areas of question or concern. I will state these as brief points so as not to bore the reader.

1.  A narrow view of church history. The feeling I got reading this book was that true missional Christianity could be traced through the ages in a thread of movements emphasizing a more or less common set of beliefs and practices. If I had to use labels I would describe these beliefs as mystical, second-blessing, and either Semi-Pelagian or Arminian. The book seemed to downplay the influence of the Reformed branch of the church. Apparently the Reformation sapped the church of the sense of enchantment that had previously existed and replaced it with a more rational and cerebral bent. Never mind that before the Reformation the church was shot through with pagan superstition and biblical ignorance of the first magnitude. And what about wave of gospel preaching of the Puritans in England? What about the great gospel preaching of men like John Knox? What about the mighty Spurgeon–staunchly Reformed yet warmly evangelical and missional to the core? We might also mention the influence of George Whitefield and the New England Calvinist pastor/theologian Jonathan Edwards. We could also point to the modern ministries of John Piper (Desiring God Ministries) and Mark Driscoll (Acts 29 Network/Resurgence).

2. Weak and seemingly arbitrary theological basis. If we are going to tell people to love God with everything they have, then is it not vital that they know who God is and what He is like? Why emphasize a concept like the trinity, which must be deduced from various texts, and not start with something a little more explicitly taught, like the holiness or sovereignty of God? When Jesus told the Jewish leader to love God, what God was He referring to? I’ll give you one clue: it was not the god of The Shack. It was the God of the Old Testament–the One whose first commandment was that no other gods than Him be worshipped. Not only that; Jesus claimed in more than one place to be the God of the Old Testament. Bottom line–your love for God is no better than your theology. It is true that information about God does not automatically lead to love for Him. But you cannot love him if you are ignorant or hold distorted concepts of who He is. For more on how a low view of God has rotted the modern evangelical church see my book: Breaking the Box: Rebuilding Faith in the God of the Bible. It is available on Amazon.

3. Artificial head/heart distinction. There is no real dualism here. Your brain is an organ of the body, and thoughts are behaviors. Believing false information about God and His will is just as sinful as stealing or lying. True, one can have a head full of facts and an abysmal practice. By the same token he can cast out demons and do many works supposedly in the name of Jesus without being known by the Savior. He can feed the poor and even allow himself to be burned at the stake, but if he does not love the Lord it profits him nothing. The issue of head and heart devotion is not a matter of either/or. We need both.

Another point worth mentioning here is that whereas we often compartmentalize people into distinct parts like soul, spirit, intellect, will, emotions, etc., ancient Hebrew culture viewed humans more holistically. When Jesus tells us to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, He might not be splitting man into distinct parts; rather the piling up of synonyms is simply for emphasis. It’s as though He is telling us to love God with everything we have.

4. Definition based on a single Greek preposition. In Mark 12:28-34 Jesus’ statement of the twofold great commandment uses the Greek preposition ek to denote loving God out of  our heart, soul, strength, and mind. This is evidently a whole different story from loving Him with our heart, soul, strength, and mind. Perhaps, but (FYI) in the two parallel passages in Matthew and Luke the writers express Jesus’ words using the Greek preposition en, which would most naturally be translated with. Just sayin’.

5. A closer look at enchantment. I totally agree that many of us have lost our sense of awe and wonder. And while I am no cessationist I am not sure the best way to retrieve a sense of enchantment is to look inward in some form of mystical practice and listen to our inner twinges and impressions for the voice of God. In my years of ministry I have witnessed healings and some very unusual experiences with the Holy Spirit which resulted in folks getting saved and blessed. But I was never out-and-out looking for such experiences. And when I tried to replicate them it led to contrived and manufactured prophesies, words of knowledge, etc. I dabbled for awhile in the Vineyard and signs-and-wonders movement, and what I remember most was the de-emphasis on Scripture and a total abandon to the emotions. For me the best way to keep a sense of awe and wonder alive is through practicing the providence of God. Disciplining my mind to see the hand of God in everything, from the beauty of creation, to the breathtakingly adorned home Connie has created with her God-given talents, to the complexity of technological ingenuity that is on loan to us from our Creator. This is God’s world, and we breathe His air, eat His food, drink His water, and enjoy the beauty of His creation only because He has given us the ability to do so. God is always at work in His universe. Even so-called laws of nature like gravity do not operate intependently of  Him. Not even the smallest sparrow falls to the ground apart from His providential hand. Wow! And if God wants to speak to me or bless me in some extraordinary way, well, that’s gravy.

These items of concern notwithstanding, I would encourage you to give Missional Spirituality a read. It will challenge you and stretch your thinking. Hopefully it will kindle your love for God and neighbor. Reading it helped me erase from my mind those lingering doubts about whether I had flaked out on God by leaving “the ministry.” One thing I have been able to learn through this process is that I am gifted more for ministry with individuals than larger groups. Counseling is a natural avenue for me to work out my salvation missionally. Reading Missional Spirituality really helped me get confirmation of this fact, and despite my few criticisms I thank Roger and Leonard for writing it and God for bringing it to my attention.

Last night Connie and I watched an episode of Dr. Phil in which a mother and three adult daughters went round and round over offenses committed by the mother decades ago. Everyone was pointing fingers, blaming, rationalizing, minimizing, denying, and suffering from convenient memory loss. One of the daughters had been abandoned my her mother and left to care for the two younger sisters. Another had been beaten severely and verbally abused by her mom. And a third had been molested by an adolescent friend of the family, and claimed her mother reacted with apathy.

Dr. Phil listened patiently before offering his counsel. He questioned the mother’s sincerity and doubted that she was truly remorseful. Then he told the daughters to forgive their mother. You could see that when he said this the daughters screwed up their faces in shock. Quickly Dr. Phil clarified what he meant by “forgiveness.” Forgiveness is not forgetting, and it is not a denial that the offense occurred. In fact it is not really for the benefit of the offender at all. According to Dr. Phil, forgiveness is a letting go of our feelings of rage and resentment for our own sake, so that we can move forward and escape a life filled with bitterness. After all, we owe ourselves that much. This is a paraphrase, but it is pretty much you hear at the pop level from celebrities like Oprah Winfrey and psychobabblers like Drs. Drew and Phil.

Rather coincidentally (or not) this morning in my Bible reading I came across these words: If your brother sins against you rebuke him, and if he repents forgive him. And if seven times in a day he sins against you and seven times in a day turns to you saying “I repent,” forgive him (Luke 17:3-4).

Sounds kind of superficial and mechanical, does it not. Why should I forgive someone after seven offenses just because they say they have repented? Obviously if they keep offending they are not truly sorry or remorseful. This is just the point: we cannot evaluate this because we can only see behaviors and not the heart. How many times have you watched this or that expert say it is obvious that so-and-so has no remorse. How can they say this? All we can say it that the person does not seem to be expressing remorse. We have no real clue what is going on in the person’s heart, and so we must forgive.

Not only that–Christ has forgiven us and loves us unconditionally. No servant is above his master, so we can do no less than the Lord. Nor do we forgive as a salve for our own hurts or a vehicle for our moving on. We forgive for the sake of the offender out of love.

Of course forgiveness does not mean there are no consequences. I am sure God forgave Moses for his angry outburst, but still Moses was kept from entering the land. If I get drunk and lose a limb in an accident and then repent God will forgive me, but the limb will still be gone.

Stop listening to pagan experts when it comes to forgiveness and follow God’s word. No flaky forgiveness.